Friday, May 05, 2006

My kid will get me for this some day

Unless you’re the parent of a little boy, one of the things you probably don't know about small children is that little boys spend a lot of time playing with their dicks. Juanco 'discovered' his dingdong about three weeks ago and has been doing his baseball player impersonation ever since. Pull his diaper off for a change and he grabs his dick. Put him in the tub for a bath and he grabs his dick. Grandma put him down for a nap last week in a tee-shirt and diaper, and he pulled his diaper loose, threw it out of the crib and grabbed his dick. He also shit in the crib, which upset him mightily – so he sat in one corner of the crib screaming and holding his dick. (It also upset grandma, who has now learned that little Juan Carlos must always wear either a onesie or pants when he's left alone.) Sometimes, even in a onesie, he grabs his crotch just to make sure his dick is still attached.

Mom, of course, being a girl and all, was concerned about all of the dick-grabbing. Sometimes it's a bit of hassle, especially when he grabs for the groin when he's getting changed out of a poopy diaper. Hands in poop, not good. Anyway, the pediatrician informed her that dick-grabbing is perfectly normal at that age. I told her she better get used to it, especially is she wants him to be a shortstop.

Sunday night, Juanco took a bath in the big tub with Daddy. After all of the scrub-scrub-scrub was done, he uncharacteristically relaxed, sat back and, of course, grabbed his dick. With both hands. Since I'm a firm believer in "if you can't stop it, tax it", I sat back and grabbed my dick too. After about a minute of uncharacteristic bath-time complete silence Mom, in the next room, walked to the door to see what was amiss.

"What are you two doing?" she asked. "Just chillin' out?"

"Yep," I replied. "We're just sittin' here holdin' our dicks."

A real father-son moment.

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